new discoveries

one of my co-workers got lucky yesterday.

he lives on the upper floors of the same apartment that i currently resides.

it was around 10 at night, and when he looked outside his window, he noticed that the resident living in this other apartment located just across the road, forgot to curtain-up her windows.

all men were born with curious eyes.

then he could see the girl in her room came out from the showers, and only after she finishes to blow her hair and changed clothes that she realized that her window was open for my lucky co-worker’s visual enjoyment.

this is not the reason why i’m writing this.

i’m writing this because just now i was informed that the apartment that i mentioned above was actually a female dormitory for aoyama gakuin university students!

and i could see them hanging their camisoles and stockings from my window!

oh man, even the thought of this gives me mid-night boners.

LOL.

hahaha anyways, i was inspired to write about this after i read one mind-opening article by one of my ex-schoolmates. it’s about taking a step back to look at the world in a wider view point.

i should also sometimes take a step back, and appreciate my nearest surroundings first before searching for interesting things in far away places.

the majority of people reading this would think that this is nothing more than creepy perverseness, but i think it’s just harmless little sweetness of living in a city where apartments are located very close to each other.

i’m going to pay more attention towards my windows now.

tag reply for adilla

1. 5 Ciri Wanita/Lelaki Idaman Anda (5 characteristics of your dream girl/guy):

- Hygienic, smells nice, looks clean, knows how to take care of herself, happy, free and are not afraid to give her opinion about anything. An easy going personality is the utmost importance.

- Sense of humor doesn’t always have to be paralleled with me, because that would be very creepy, but it would be brilliant if she could understood ALL of my horribly inappropriate jokes.

- I’m dumb, so I need a smart girl that could teach me a thing or two; like how to socialize properly with human beings (?).

- Girls with soft, beautiful skin never fails to grab my attention.

- Great skin, nasi lemak 50sen breasts, nice legs and an ass to go jihad for would be very nice.

2. 5 Ciri Wanita/Lelaki Yang Tak Pernah Anda Minati Sepanjang Hidup (5 characteristics that you have never liked in girl/guy):

- Girls that talks very fast, about a lot of different subjects all at once, with her unbelievably high pitched voice.

- This is kinda shallow of me, but I never find fat girls attractive… unless she’s a genius at cooking!

- Girls with dirty clothes (not hygienic), dirty mouth (talks like a dirty old men) and dirty minds (those sluts that wants to rape me all the time).

- Too clingy, too sensitive, too emotional, too everything!

- Extreme feminists. Eeeekkk!!!

3. 5 Perasaan Anda Sekiranya Keluar Dengan Orang Yang Minati (5 feelings that you have when you are out with the one you admire):

- So excited that sometimes I had a boner (true story, and it is not erotic at all; maybe bcoz of the sudden rush of blood?).

- Relaxed and stress-free.

- Obviously, happy?

- A little bit pressured to struck a good impression, especially early on.

- Thankful for the company; because I always think that I am alone in a crowded place.

4. 5 Tempat Istimewa Yang Ingin Dilawati Bersama Pasangan Anda (5 places that you want to travel to with your loved one):

- Deserted, haunted house in the middle of the night, with only one torch-light.

- White sandy beaches of course!

- My own living room: we could watch movies while I fondle her nasi lemak 50sen breasts! -> ok this is one of my horribly inappropriate jokes. Terrible, right?

- My crotch.

- O man, I don’t see this going anywhere special…

5. 5 Barangan/Sesuatu Istimewa Yang Akan Anda Hadiahkan Kepada Si Dia (5 special things that you will give to your loved one):

- A smooth, silky night gown. So fucking sexy!

- Forget about physical presents, I’m gonna give her the best cunnilingus evar!

- I think I’m not good with these ‘tag games’ that girls so love to do in their blogs.

- All I can think of right now is dildos. Big giant dildos with vibrators. Well, at least I’m being honest.

6. Tajuk Lagu Yang Akan Anda Nyanyikan Untuk Pasangan Anda (5 songs that you will sing to your partner):

- Your body is a wonderland – John Mayer

- Kokoni iruyo – SoulJa

- I’m not a girl, not yet a woman – Britney Spears

- Ambo Ghaso Bekene – Megat Nordin

- Tok Bini Lagi – Cikgu Sulizi

[note]

This is obviously another one of my lame jokes. Thread lightly, please.

msaj jobfair ===>

going to tokyo today for a job-fair (they call it career fair) held by the malaysian student accociation japan (msaj). almost all of the participating companies have their own branches in malaysia, and the main purpose of the fair is to give employers the opportunity to recruit fresh graduates to work at their malaysian branches.

it is all about getting malaysian fresh gradutes from japanese universities into their malaysian branches.

i want to work in japan first, so i shouldn’t be interested in such a focused career-fair but i want to go there anyways as a　滑り止め (suberi dome – last resort); meaning if by any chance, i didn’t get a job from a japanese company based in japan, i’d go for the malaysian branches.

and because this is a last-resort thingy, i really don’t have the spirit to be fully prepared. i didn’t do much research about any of the participating companies, my resume looks like crap, i got a sore throat after some hardcore karaoke-ing and i didn’t practice on any IQ or SPI tests. i just got back from a long date-marathon and i’m still not finished packing my bags for the trip yet; now where the heck did i put that polka-dot boxer?

i’m feeling kinda worthless and disappointed by my own laziness right now, but i just couldn’t start to straighten up and be on my best; i’m feeling extreme だるい (darui – feeling of sluggishness).

自分がやる気なければ、会社の人も真剣にお前のことを見ない。覚悟しとけ。就職活動をなめんな！

anyways, to change the subject, video game reviewers all over the world is giving out 10s and 5 stars to the latest gta instalment: grand theft auto IV; and reading and watching all those videos makes me want to play the game so bad!

wanna play the game so bad that even if i were to choose from a simple camisole-wearing [insert you favourite hottie's name here] and the game, i’d choose the game. even if she rips off the camisole, revealing her red slik panties, i’d choose the game. even if she puts some oil on those skins and let me take her pictures with the state of the art slr camera, i’d choose the game. even if she offered to play with my balls while i’m micro-photograping her skin texture, i’d choose the game. even if…. what ever pervertness that a sick, disgusting, perverted mind could think of, i’d choose the game. do you see how powerful the hype of the game is?

look! i haven’t even played the game yet but it has already affected me in a good way; that is it has made me want to choose the option that is not perverted instead of the perverted ones! wow what an awesome game! i could image myself being more pious, well mannered and more polite when i got the game. it must be!

have undies, the otakus will follow

Every Sunday, the street of akihabara is closed to vehicles to allow pedestrians the much needed breathing space to fully enjoy shopping and sight seeing in the famous ‘Electric Town’ of Tokyo. The empty space provided also gave certain people certain opportunities: cosplayers to show-off their latest anime costumes, wanna-be singers to promote their self-fund cds, street performers to show-off their skills, café attendants dressed in French maid costume to promote their café, and also gravure idols to show some skin for the sake of promoting their latest work.

And no gravure idol is as crazy as asuka sawamoto (沢本あすか), who has caused quite a stir in the otaku community when she went to the street, lift up her skirt and let hundreds of perverts took pictures of her undies. After the her outrageous ‘performance’, she climbed down the railings to give out flyers to promote her next gig.

Apparently, these perverts were called ‘low-anglers’ (ローアングラー), because they only took pictures from low angles; and it’s the latest ‘trend’ in akihabara among fans of japanese ’small-time’ idols. And all of this happened on a public road, and can be seen by everyone including children passing by.

. .

What a way to enflame a discussion about how far could freedom of expression and morality go along. Every time she did this, hundreds of low-anglers would flood the streets and with their mobile phones and some, expensive SLR cameras, took pictures of her in ‘funny’ positions and angles.

This being Japan, the police did nothing (because the police are also perverts); well at least until a tv program made a story about it. Eventually, she got caught and charged with public disturbance (迷惑防止条例違反) and to the dismay of her ‘fans’, it was revealed that she was actually 31 years old, 10 years older than what she told the press.

So now the underground Japanese bbs were filled with otaku jokes about how stupid they are, chasing a slutty obasan around with their mobile phones. More pics here .<— click the link for a more detailed story (japanese).

Talking about such pervertness is always fun, but this time, it’s so over the top that I can’t even make one joke. Sometimes, akihabara is just too much. Remember, she was caught not because of her shameless performance, but of what she had encouraged: that is making huge crowds that disturbed other pedestrian and the flow of traffic.

Man, what a crazy place. Akihabara, enough is enough!

snowboarding is pain

I woke up this morning feeling excruciating pain all over my body. Each time I made a simple movement, it hurts. Every time I tried to lift up my arms, it hurts. A small lump of pain appeared of the left side of my throat and my shoulders are stiff as a board.

But I’m not going to talk about today. I’m going to talk about what I did yesterday.

Yesterday, I went snowboarding with pojik and zarul. The last time I snowboard is one year ago, so I have to be mentally prepared to fall a lot because I know I’m not going to remember what I have learnt before about snowboarding during my previous attempts at it. And fall, I did. A lot. And I guess although my mental side is ready, the physical side of me is not.

I snowboard like only 2-3 times a year so there is no way that I’m going to be good at it.

I sucked! Of course the main reason of this is because I don’t snowboard that much to obtain the required skills to be called ‘good at it’, but until now, I didn’t realize that I was THIS bad. If my memories were clear as the blue sky at the Juenese Ski Park yesterday, I thought I didn’t suck. Far from good of course, but definitely not on the level of suck; that was my previous assumption about my own snowboarding skills. Oh how wrong I was.

Getting your body slammed several times to the ground at high speed is painful enough, but nothing can be compared to when getting your dick squeezed between you body and a slump of hard snow, at high speed with full momentum from the fall.

I was so unfortunate yesterday. I was speeding on a steep slope. Feeling the cold breeze at this speed is fun and awesome! Then after realizing that if I don’t slow down, I’m going to lose control and hit a deer or something, I tried to do a cool, fast break; like the pros do it on tv. I forgot. I still suck at the sport. Lost balance and I got my body slammed to the ground very hard. And by some divine magic, during those crucial milliseconds of my mishap, I have succeeded to get my dick placed right on top of a slump of hard snow; and I let the momentum and speed of my body to slam my poor wang. Or shlong. Or weiner. Or pecker. Or knob. Or rod. Or shaft. Or phallus. Let’s just called it a male genitalia ok?

I must say. It was fucking painful. Damn!

I want to put my hand into my pants to make sure that everything is attached but I can’t really move because it was painful. So I just sit there, rubbing my little brother from the outside of my pants. I looked up and there comes a girl skiing down, staring at a foreigner who was rubbing his crotch like crazy. No matter how much you stare, you won’t understand the pain o little girl!

Then a sudden fear comes into play. What if it was squashed during impact? What if it was bleeding? I don’t want to have to say to my future wife this: before I ask to marry you, I have a secret to tell –> my dick is squashed and looks like a flatten banana balloon because I slammed it onto a slump of hard snow.

So I have to check whether the smaller (not the best word to describe it) part of me is functional and 100% OK. During these times of emergency, I wish I had a catalogue of women’s lingerie with pretty models in it to help me. Unfortunately, I don’t have those so I have to use my imagination. I used my extraordinary imagination to visualize all sorts of things that could turn that little guy into HULK, but all was in vain.

I was really freaking out; and then I remembered the time when I was just 8 years old at school. We had an English class in the library and the teacher (a pretty chinese-kelantanese young lady) told us to draw some pictures of animals. After giving her orders, we started our assignments on the floor while the teacher returns to the observing desk. I was sitting right in front of the teacher’s desk and to my horror, or joy, the pretty teacher sits on her chair with her legs opened, not knowing that the whole class could see her crotch clearly. To top it off, she’s not wearing anything underneath those silky white skirts so I could see clearly her unshaven secondary women lips(it’s not a short skirt really, just on the knee line). I called my friend and ask him what the hell am I looking at, but he just told me to shut up so I continued to draw, while being very confused. At that time, I thought she had a horrible accident during circumcision, and I was pretty shaken by that thought. Damn, I should have looked a little bit longer because it would take years and years more before I get to see that again at this close range. Shaven.

After that brief moment of my fabulous history being brought back into my world of imagination, at last I got confirmation that the little guy is beginning to get angry and could turn into a full, bigger and harder than a rock HULK the green beast. I was so relieved. So after knowing that my banana and his two coconuts are okay, I continue snowboarding until its 3 p.m.

Before leaving, I had a shrimp burger and the sweet thing about this is that when I bought the coupons, I put 500 yen into the machine and it gave me back 710 yen! I’m so lucky. Then we brave the cold waters to take wudhu and performed solat in the changing room.

On the way back home, the three of us made some pretty weird conversations and had vowed to not speak the contents of the conversations to anyone else, so it was kinda cool. Then we hit the local sushi restaurant, and I ate like 5 plates only because I was just too tired to eat more.

Got back home, and went to sleep. Then I wake up this morning feeling like a train wreck. Then I did the laundry and watched appleseed ex machine; which is awesome. Then, because I have nothing else to do, I thought it would be fun to write about what I did yesterday, so here I am finishing my thoughts about that. Until next time….

*p/s: by reading today’s post, now you know that my childhood experience kinda affected my current state of mind a little bit. Might be funny, but not a pretty thang!