new discoveries

one of my co-workers got lucky yesterday.

he lives on the upper floors of the same apartment that i currently resides.

it was around 10 at night, and when he looked outside his window, he noticed that the resident living in this other apartment located just across the road, forgot to curtain-up her windows.

all men were born with curious eyes.

then he could see the girl in her room came out from the showers, and only after she finishes to blow her hair and changed clothes that she realized that her window was open for my lucky co-worker’s visual enjoyment.

this is not the reason why i’m writing this.

i’m writing this because just now i was informed that the apartment that i mentioned above was actually a female dormitory for aoyama gakuin university students!

and i could see them hanging their camisoles and stockings from my window!

oh man, even the thought of this gives me mid-night boners.

LOL.

hahaha anyways, i was inspired to write about this after i read one mind-opening article by one of my ex-schoolmates. it’s about taking a step back to look at the world in a wider view point.

i should also sometimes take a step back, and appreciate my nearest surroundings first before searching for interesting things in far away places.

the majority of people reading this would think that this is nothing more than creepy perverseness, but i think it’s just harmless little sweetness of living in a city where apartments are located very close to each other.

i’m going to pay more attention towards my windows now.

Japanese Salaryman Life pt.2

Continuing from Part 1.

Every morning I usually woke up at 5:50 a.m.

After letting some sun light into the room, I would rush to the bathroom to take my daily morning shower.

Scrubby me here and there.

After some simple breakfast, I would put on my suit with matching neckties and long sleeved shirts, and get ready to get out of the apartment at exactly 6:50 a.m.; so that I could join my co-workers to go to work together.

Yes, I went to work with my co-workers every morning! What team spirit eh?

Anyways, our means of transportation to go to work is the famous Japanese densha system. Famous for what?

Morning rush hours and suicides of course!

*Densha (電車) means (public) train.

In all seriousness though, work-commuting by train in big Japanese cities (in my situation, Yokohama) is pure pain, and such an energy drowning experience.

There was just too many people during the morning rush hours, and not enough trains to accommodate them; causing extreme over-crowding especially from 7:30am to 9:00am.

In Malaysia, if a train was crowded with people, you would simply wait for the next train and board the less crowded one.

In Japan, even if you wait for the next train, the situation would be the same; the next train is also going to be extremely over-crowded, and you don’t want to be late to work, so you just board the train, NO MATTER how crowded it is.

Some of you might think, well a crowded train might not be so bad?

I want you to watch the video below, and you’d understand why I hate the morning rush hours that I have to endure each day going to work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0A9-oUoMug

Basically this is the kind of trains that I have to board every morning, minus 10 people, maybe.

I got squished, pushed, sandwiched, pressed, feet stomped on and some more.

What makes it worse is that the majority of the Japanese salaryman here don’t believe in morning showers. Damn some of them do stink!

And I have to endure all if this for an hour every morning; what a great way to start work!

It does not happen very often, but sometimes there are people who choose to use the train, not to go to work, but to kill themselves; and we morning train commuters hate them to the bones!

Not only they delayed and decrease the available train, they also made such a mess on the platform. The number of passengers would drastically increase two, three folds when this happens, and it caused such human-traffic congestion inside the station.

So please to those who wants to kill themselves, please do it without causing other people trouble, especially when we all are rushing to go to work!

Kill yourselves in a hole that you dug by yourself in the comfort of your own lawn, please! O wait a minute, not many people in Japan has lawns!

Anyways, with so much human density in such a small space, it was inevitable that this would happen: CHIKAN.

*chikan (痴漢) means molestation, in this context, molesting female commuters in the densha. Normally this would consist of an old Japanese salaryman, rubbing his penis against the lady in front of him, or using his hands to grab and have a ‘feel’ on any available female’s ass inside the crowded train.

I pity the Japanese girls that they’re living in a land full of perverts.

I’ve seen it with my own eyes, and in such crowded situation, it would be hard to know whose hand it is that was grabbing that OL’s ass.

*OL = short for ‘office lady’.

What I don’t understand is that most of the victims stayed silent and still, their faces facing down, like nothing wrong happened. Maybe they’re just too ashamed to make a scene and report it to the police.

Maybe they thought, if I just endure this, I might get to work on time!

But because such chikan perverts exists, I’m always cautious in making sure that I won’t be mistakenly accused of doing such acts.

Now, that’s another whole story…

Enough with train suicides and train molesters… all of this makes me dull.

Anyways, I should be glad that starting from tomorrow, I won’t be using the train anymore because I got sent to further my training in Sagamihara, which is just a 20 minutes walk from my apartment!

Although this only lasts for 3 weeks, I’m looking forward to a new scenery; no more crowdedness, no more suicidal nuisances, no more salaryman perverts grabbing high school girl’s asses.

Three weeks of awesomeness!

[note: the extreme 'crowdiness' situation only applies during morning rush hours. using the train to get home from work in the evening is often quite relaxed; sometimes i could even sit down on the seats!]

Japanese Salaryman Life pt.1

When I was still a student, I always wondered how an ordinary Japanese salaryman live their life.

If one reads the many articles written by the western media about the Japanese salaryman, one could not escape the impression of the life of the everyday Japanese salaryman to be terribly stressful and horribly overworked, leading to a sexless life with the wife, and fuel the booming of compensated-dating with materialistic-minded, under-aged girls.

Every morning they have to endure the worst morning rushes in the world to get to work using the always over-crowded ‘densha‘; and in those small spaces where people rub shoulders with each other while they try their best to keep their balance so that they don’t step on another salaryman’s foot, or pressed on an office lady’s breasts too hard (unintentionally, I hope), the ordinary Japanese salaryman would never refrain themselves from grabbing the still developing but already meaty and firm, buttocks of not-so-innocent Japanese high school girls who always wore their skirt way too short just to be cool at school, as they are very weak when it comes to peer pressure.

Their life is pathetic as it was just a declining road to 過労死 (karoushi), while frequently visiting the nearest soaplands and kyabakura clubs along the way.

As you can see, they don’t have the nicest reputation.

And I’ve become one.

Well, sort of… It has only been a month and I still didn’t have the opportunity to visit or do all those perverted things that they are famous for, as they have been portraited in the western media.

I really do lack in experience, but I could at least share what I have been through these past weeks… And I am pretty sure some of my blog readers out there, especially my kohais, would want to know what a salaryman life loosely assembles like.

So here it goes…

Ok I think I should stop here right now because it’s almost 10:00 pm and I got to go to bed as soon as possible as I don’t want to wake up late tomorrow; I need to get up at 05:45 am every morning to get to work god damn it!

To be continued…

p/s: to be fair though, although the phrase ’salaryman’ means males who works under a salary, the more common usage of the title is applied to Japanese white-collar businessmen… not engineers, teachers, porn stars, police officer etc…

thesis writing and old japanese nurses

At last, my professor is satisfied with the results of the latest experimental addition to my research material, and finally approved of me to go ahead and finalize all the experiment data accumulated, so that I could wrap my mind around my thesis and start writing it.

At last, I didn’t have to go through those repetitively tedious experiments anymore, and focus more on what is important; that is critical thinking and constructed assumption through proven data.

At last, I could start harvesting fruits from my efforts.

I know I’m going to be busier the next 11 days, but this is not a time to whine.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Anyways, yesterday I went to Nakatsu Health Clinic to go through a required medical check up that my (future) company asked all their 新人社員 (new employees) to go through.

I arrived at the clinic 15 minutes earlier than my appointment, and I went straight to the 受付カウンター (reception counter).

“ Ah, Muhamado Taufikku Ari San, we have been expecting you. Now take this cup and piss in it, please…”

I hate urine test, but I got no other choice.

The urine cup they gave me is actually quite interesting though, because at the bottom of the cup, it had blue marks, like a bull’s-eye, so that the pisser could target his piss into the cup correctly.

Anyways, I pissed long and hard that even the big cup couldn’t hold all of my piss together, and some of it got spilled and the cup got messy. I pity the nurse that’s going to take my cup, because it is all wet… and warm.

Sorry :p

Then I went through the usual routines, blood tests, height and weight, hearing and seeing ability, lung capacity, cardio-magna-electric test etc.

Anyways, if you haven’t known already, I have a weird fetish for Japanese nurses; and I can’t tell you how excited I am to meet real life nurses.

But through yesterday’s experience, I have found something else about my fetish for Japanese nurses; it only applies to ‘young and pretty’ nurses only.

The nurses in the clinic are mostly in their late 30s or 40s, and I didn’t felt the same excitement that I have with nurses in their 20s.

Anyways, I don’t know whether I’m exaggerating the situation or not, but I think this one old nurse (maybe in her late 40s) who is taking care of me through out the whole process, tries her every chance to touch me.

I am dead serious.

Like when I need to take off my clothes for the cardiovascular routine, she tries to do it for me, kinda in a forceful way. I was like “hey I can take my clothes off by myself!” but she insisted to do it.

And as I lie half-naked on the bed exposed to the dangerous eyes and wrinkly hands of the old Japanese nurse, she keeps tapping my chest, stomach, arms and legs; saying that she is trying to find the right ‘spot’ to stick the sensors.

I know I might be exaggerating this, but I seriously think that the touching is overly done, because I actually felt uncomfortable.

Then when I went to see the doctor to check my lungs, once again she lifts up my shirt, like I can’t do it by myself!

Well, of course, if the nurse is a pretty young nurse with an innocent smile, I won’t mind the excessive touching, at all. In fact, I would even pay her to touch my other body-parts… but this is an old lady with a make-up like a geisha that I’m referring to here.

Anyways, these kinds of traumatic experiences could have a dire effect on one’s emotional stability, as being proven by studies performed on those sexually abused in the past. So to prevent such horrible acts of inhumanity to ever be forced upon my helpless body (and mind) ever again, next time I’m getting a medical check-up, I will make it my utmost priority to make sure that the clinic that I chose to have the medical check-up routine, would have an ample supply of young, pretty and hot nurses.

I’m a sensitive person.

tag reply for adilla

1. 5 Ciri Wanita/Lelaki Idaman Anda (5 characteristics of your dream girl/guy):

- Hygienic, smells nice, looks clean, knows how to take care of herself, happy, free and are not afraid to give her opinion about anything. An easy going personality is the utmost importance.

- Sense of humor doesn’t always have to be paralleled with me, because that would be very creepy, but it would be brilliant if she could understood ALL of my horribly inappropriate jokes.

- I’m dumb, so I need a smart girl that could teach me a thing or two; like how to socialize properly with human beings (?).

- Girls with soft, beautiful skin never fails to grab my attention.

- Great skin, nasi lemak 50sen breasts, nice legs and an ass to go jihad for would be very nice.

2. 5 Ciri Wanita/Lelaki Yang Tak Pernah Anda Minati Sepanjang Hidup (5 characteristics that you have never liked in girl/guy):

- Girls that talks very fast, about a lot of different subjects all at once, with her unbelievably high pitched voice.

- This is kinda shallow of me, but I never find fat girls attractive… unless she’s a genius at cooking!

- Girls with dirty clothes (not hygienic), dirty mouth (talks like a dirty old men) and dirty minds (those sluts that wants to rape me all the time).

- Too clingy, too sensitive, too emotional, too everything!

- Extreme feminists. Eeeekkk!!!

3. 5 Perasaan Anda Sekiranya Keluar Dengan Orang Yang Minati (5 feelings that you have when you are out with the one you admire):

- So excited that sometimes I had a boner (true story, and it is not erotic at all; maybe bcoz of the sudden rush of blood?).

- Relaxed and stress-free.

- Obviously, happy?

- A little bit pressured to struck a good impression, especially early on.

- Thankful for the company; because I always think that I am alone in a crowded place.

4. 5 Tempat Istimewa Yang Ingin Dilawati Bersama Pasangan Anda (5 places that you want to travel to with your loved one):

- Deserted, haunted house in the middle of the night, with only one torch-light.

- White sandy beaches of course!

- My own living room: we could watch movies while I fondle her nasi lemak 50sen breasts! -> ok this is one of my horribly inappropriate jokes. Terrible, right?

- My crotch.

- O man, I don’t see this going anywhere special…

5. 5 Barangan/Sesuatu Istimewa Yang Akan Anda Hadiahkan Kepada Si Dia (5 special things that you will give to your loved one):

- A smooth, silky night gown. So fucking sexy!

- Forget about physical presents, I’m gonna give her the best cunnilingus evar!

- I think I’m not good with these ‘tag games’ that girls so love to do in their blogs.

- All I can think of right now is dildos. Big giant dildos with vibrators. Well, at least I’m being honest.

6. Tajuk Lagu Yang Akan Anda Nyanyikan Untuk Pasangan Anda (5 songs that you will sing to your partner):

- Your body is a wonderland – John Mayer

- Kokoni iruyo – SoulJa

- I’m not a girl, not yet a woman – Britney Spears

- Ambo Ghaso Bekene – Megat Nordin

- Tok Bini Lagi – Cikgu Sulizi

[note]

This is obviously another one of my lame jokes. Thread lightly, please.